Don't Ever Do This!

My brain seems to never stop problem solving. My head is constantly full of ideas.  Many of them are successful.  Some are really great.  Some not so much.

My studio tour, the first one I'd ever done, was coming up and I had a last minute idea. It was a brilliant idea (or so I thought). My idea was to pass out 100 flyers to 100 of my closest neighbors.

Why hadn't anyone else on the tour thought of this?

My neighborhood is pretty spread out and is a fairly rural area. All the properties are separated by a green belt. Because of this I barely even know my closest neighbors. I felt it was a perfect opportunity, a perfect excuse, to market myself. After all, the whole goal of me doing the tour this year was to share with my community what I do and, hopefully, to gain more followers. So, I made up a simple flyer.

The first line said in large letters, "Did You Know That Your Neighbor Is An Artist?" Followed by, "Come visit her studio and see her latest works of art." The rest of the info briefly stated the date of the tour, and my address, and my website address.

After printing 100 copies, folding the flyer so the eye-catching lines were above the fold, I stapled a business card to the flyer.

A great and cheap marketing idea, right? Now, how does one go about distributing this information?

Here comes the part that you should never do. My "Lucille Ball" moment.

(see any resemblance?)

It was about 3:00 pm and I was very selective about which neighbors mailboxes would receive my flyers.

The ones I liked the best were those that were in tight rows.

It made the distribution more efficient.

Houses that looked disheveled or mysterious or had lots of worn out cars parked outside didn't receive a flyer. Surely, they would have no interest in art or me for that matter.





This type of marketing turned out to not be the most brilliant of my ideas.

Turns out that it is a federal offense to open someone's mailbox even if you aren't removing their mail and giving them exciting-happy-neighborhood-event type of mail. 

It makes sense. 

I get it...now.

(Far Side cartoon by Gary Larson)

           

Thankfully, I only got one irate phone call. Her timing was perfect. She called me a 1/2 hour before the tour was about to start and left this message, "Don't ever put a flyer in my mailbox again! That's a federal offense!"

Hearing that made me feel like I'd been punched in the stomach. Already nervous about the success of the tour, I now was very worried that I would get reported and fined a billion dollars...

or worse...be put in jail. That would not be cool.  Even if I do look good in orange.

"Lucy!  You've got some 'splainin' to do!"

In the words of what Lucille Ball might say, "WAAA! All I wanted to do was be neighborly, invite them to visit and to meet them in a very positive environment. WAAA!"

So far, no phone calls or subpoena (or whatever they give you) from the post master, no retaliation of any sort and no police officer at my door.

Whew!

Btw, one of the receivers of my mailbox flyer is a police officer. Yeesh! 

He did not come to my studio.  Only a few of my neighbors came.  The tour was still a success.  People came from all over and I had 130 visitors and had a few sales.  Not bad for my first tour.

Next time, though, I'll inform my neighbors in a legal way.

More art stories:
Mission Impossible-Almost
A Lesson In Fashion Turns Into A Funny Tattoo Story
Curiosity And Other Artistic Traits
Demo Is A Four Letter Word

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Demo Is A Four Letter Word

It disguises itself by hiding in other words: Demolition, demon, demonstrative, demote, demobilization, democracy, democrat, demographic...there are about 140 different words that come to mind that start with those four letters. Not many of them are very positive or exciting. Most are negative.  Some are scary.  Why do we artist do demos when they make us so nervous? Well, at least it's nerve racking to me.

My first public demo was coming up quickly. It was to be on the second Saturday of December at Poulsbo's Bluewater Artworks Gallery and Framing on there regularly scheduled art walk. There was going to be another artist there, a band and refreshments too. It all sounded like it was going to be eventful and fun.

Making up my mind on what to demonstrate wasn't happening and now it was the day of the demo...Oils take too long to dry. I need a blow dryer and an extension cord if I do watercolors.  Am I going to need a table or will they have one for me? I could demo pastels, but I really need to somehow do something that shows change quickly. Do I need to do something that shows my versatility?...These were just a few of the thoughts that ran through my mind. I was a bundle of nerves and wished I hadn't signed up for it, but kept giving myself pep talks anyway. What if it flops and I make a fool of myself? No, no, no, just stay positive. It'll be fine.  Just relax and have fun.

My little pep talks didn't help much. I decided to bring everything.

My tool kit is an artist tackle box that used to be my EMT box when I worked for an ambulance company many moons ago.  Now it has been re-purposed for storing my portable art stuff and it's kind of cumbersome to carry.  Especially when I'm trying to carry other things at the same time.  After getting that all organized with paints, pastels, and brushes; I filled my portfolio with different types of paper and different sized boards. Collected my easel, butcher tray and my blow dryer; than, noted to myself that I needed to remember my watercolor brushes and paints because they didn't fit inside my tackle box.
After being satisfied that I had everything I could ever need it was time to load the car. While loading the car, I wished I could just make up my mind.  Choose a media and pack just that; keep it simple, but my nerves wouldn't let me be decisive.

I arrived with plenty of time to spare for setting up my station.  The car was running low on gas, but there was no time to fill it before the demo.  First thing I did after arriving was deposit my purse in a drawer in the back of the store. No way did I want to lose that. As I was setting up, I notice that they had a table ready for me. It was smaller than I wanted it to be, but that was okay.

My easel is a fold up, compact kind and it hadn't been used in a while so it took some figuring out to get it to stand properly. That was about the time that the band started playing. They sounded great, but were really loud and my station was only a few feet from them,  "How on earth am I going to do a demo and speak to people with the music being so loud?"  That was about the time that my sign came to me. It had my name and the word, watercolor underneath.  Finally, a decisive moment, "Cool, I'll do watercolor...wait, where's my paints and brushes?" A visual of my brushes and bucket of paint came to me, "Ugh!"  It was still sitting on the counter in my house. Great!

Shifting gears wasn't too hard, but all that time setting up my easel was wasted as I didn't need it now.  It will have to be a demo with pastels because oils are definitely out of the question.

The time arrived to start the demo and the music began. Maybe I won't have to say anything. I was demoing drawing by erasing with pastels and a kneaded eraser. A fascinating process.
Several puzzled people who had read the sign asked me if I was doing watercolor. As charmingly as I could muster, I raised my voice so it could be heard over the music, "No, I forgot my paints, so it will be pastels today."

It's a good thing I interact well with people. 

Things were going pretty well. I even felt myself relax a bit until, I pulled up a photo to work from on my Acer tablet. 
A man approached and said, "I have a question. Can you do this without using a photo?" I was astonished that someone would ask me that and in such a I'm-going-to-stump-this-artist kind of way. I'm pretty sure a wrinkle between my eyebrows appeared as I said, "Yes, but why should I?"

Okay, yes, I admit, that wasn't very professional of me.
I did take the time to explain that I needed a reference in this case to start with, but once I got going I would ditch the photo.  He seemed satisfied with my explanation.  In the meantime, a few people left. Dang it! Was it because I was using a photo? Was it because of what the guy said? Was it because of my answer to him?  Was it because I contradicted my sign and did pastels instead of watercolors? Maybe they just left because they had to leave.

That man did stump me after all and made me feel all nervous again. Doesn't he realize that this is my first public demo ever?

I did think of a lot of things I could have said after the fact like: That is why Picasso's work is so abstract. He didn't use photos.

I wish I would have said something witty on the spot or showed him the drawings I had on display that were done without a photo reference instead of what I actually said. The best answer I could have given was what my husband said, "You should have just told him: 'Yes, but there is a lot of distractions right now with the music and people'."

I should have brought my husband.

From that point on it went pretty well. I met a few great people, passed out cards, talked about my work over the sound of music...bending towards each other at times to be able to hear each other speak...and had a few people add themselves to my e-mail list. All in all it was a pretty great experience and people seemed to love my work. Now, it was over and I needed to pack up all my stuff and take it all back to my car. I think it took me an hour to do so. Definitely only bringing one thing next time.

Everything was finally packed into the car. Other than being tired, I felt great. 

Relieved that I made it through the night no worse for the wear, I got in my car and drove onto the freeway, "That wasn't so bad.  It was actually kind of fun."  Then, I remembered that I needed to get gas. Then, I remembered that I left my purse in the drawer in the back of the store. Then, I remembered that my phone was in my purse.  I started to panic, "What if everyone is gone? What am I going to do?"

The freeway exits were miles apart and I had just passed one. At the next exit, I turned around praying that someone would be at the gallery and that I would make it to a gas station.

Thankfully, someone was still there and I was able to get my purse. Now all there was to do was get my gas tank filled...and get a burger.  I don't normally eat fast food, but if there was ever a time to eat a nice fattening, juicy burger this was it.  I'll have to say, it was one of the best burgers I've ever had.

That whole experience was absolutely exhausting, but I learned a lot about what not to do. Now, if I ever do another demo, it will be done differently and demo will not be a negative, four letter word anymore. It will be a well-planned demonstration. A demonstration to watch and remember in a positive way...I hope.

More Stories:
A Lesson In Fashion Turns Into A Funny Tattoo Story
Mission Impossible-Almost
What If I Do This?

Curiosity and Other Artistic Traits Of Creative People - What If I Do This?

I have felt, pretty much forever, that I don't fit into any mold. That I don't fit into societies personality standards very well. For the most part, I've learned to deal with it. It is always refreshing when I come across someone who understands me; which is very rare and usually is another artist.
I recently ran across this article about Ten Paradoxical Traits Of  Creative People and was surprised to find that it fits me to a capital 'T':

1. Creative people have a great deal of physical energy, but they're also often quiet and at rest.
2. Creative people tend to be smart yet naive at the same time.
3. Creative people combine playfulness and discipline, or responsibility and irresponsibility.
4. Creative people alternate between imagination and fantasy, and a rooted sense of reality.
5. Creative people tend to be both extroverted and introverted.
6. Creative people are humble and proud at the same time
7. Creative people, to an extent, escape rigid gender role stereotyping - When tests of masculinity and femininity are given to young people, over and over one finds that creative and talented girls are more dominant and tough than other girls, and creative boys are more sensitive and less aggressive than their male peers.
8. Creative people are both rebellious and conservative.
9. Most creative people are very passionate about their work, yet they can be extremely objective about it as well.
10. Creative people's openness and sensitivity often exposes them to suffering and pain, yet also to a great deal of enjoyment.
(see the full article here)

I think curiosity fits in there somewhere.

An artist has to be willing to say, 'What if I do this?' But that question doesn't have an off button for me. Every once in a while it gets me into trouble. Today, for instance, would be one of those times.

My daughter had a doc appointment today. Once inside the building, we have to take an elevator to get to the doc's office. The elevator door is always slow to close so I always push the 'door close' button, but today, I saw that to the left of that double arrow 'door close' symbol was another white button. Two white buttons; two arrows pointing inward. So, I think to push both white buttons. Maybe both buttons are 'door close' buttons? That was when I realized that I was wrong. The left button set off a bell that scared the life out of me. Thankfully, it only went off for as long as I pushed it; which was only a quarter-second. We were on our way out, so upon exiting the elevator, I looked both ways and beat it to the door and my car. Probably didn't escape the security cameras though.



My daughter said with a plain, dead-pan face at first, "Mom, you always do stuff like that." Than she smirked a smile.

It's true. I do always do that kind of stuff. I can't help it. I'm a very tactile person. One time I grabbed a beautiful, feathery, handmade headdress and placed it on my daughter's head. She protested, of course, but it was so amazing, I just couldn't help it. I saw it when we turned the corner of a display booth. There were about four lined up on the wall behind the booth.
I snapped a few pictures of them first and grabbed the one that I thought was the most beautiful. Well, they were for sale...NOT. It turns out that the man sitting next to it not only made it, but owned it and was going to wear it in the tribal show that was about to be put on for an audience.
OMG! I was horrified that once again, my curiosity got the better of me. I was so embarrassed and apologized profusely to the man's wife. The man just sat there while his wife handled the whole situation.
It is a matriarchal society at this Indian reservation. I probably wouldn't have learned that little tidbit about that reservation if I hadn't done what I did.
Thankfully, she ended up choosing grace after she saw that it was an innocent mistake and I had not intended on being disrespectful.

The man never said a word.

That was a few years ago and it has taken me that long to be able to see the humor in it. That faux pas was a doozy. Thankfully, the big ones are few and far between.

I think I have the picture of the headdress still...

Read more funny stories:
A Lesson In Fashion Turns Into A Funny Tattoo Story
Mission Impossible-Almost

Mission Impossible - Almost: A Total Drama Day

Today was the day to drop off my painting for the NW Watercolor Show in Seattle. I have been looking forward to this day. Checking and re-checking my calendar to make sure I had the date right. The day comes, today, and I had completely forgotten until I got a phone call, "Are you coming?" They would be there until 3:00 pm, maybe. I gave my apologies and left immediately. It was 12:00 pm. I arrived to find the doors locked; then, realized I was at the wrong building.

At the correct building, the doors were locked. I called the chairman. She came down to let me in. Upon seeing my painting, she said, "I can't accept this. It doesn't have a white matte." How did I miss that very important tidbit? I was so careful to read everything in all four of the very long and wordy pages of the show's prospectus.

I told her that I would fix it and be back as soon as possible. She said, "We are almost done and may not be here when you get back. Call me when you get the matte changed." I agreed and went straight to Daniel Smith; which, thankfully, was not far from there. 

1:50 pm: I got the framer working on the matte. It would be easy and quick, but she was a very relaxed kind of gal and took her time. 
Turns out that I was one of three artists who entered the show that made the same white matte mistake.  So I'm not loosing it after all.  I'm just an artist and apparently the last one to make that mistake.  Sheesh!

30 minutes went by and I was very anxious. I called the chairman, "They're working on it and will be done any minute." She was gracious and said she'd wait. Got the re-matted painting, paid for it, drove back, got it into the show, sighed a big sigh of relief, gave the lady a pocket sketchbook I found in the store while I was waiting and went back to the elevator.

Whew!...But, then, ...I discovered that I was stuck in the elevator after pushing the wrong button to the wrong floor. The floor under the garage and I needed a key to go up one floor to the garage where my car was. A little panicked, I noticed I could exit out the back side of the elevator to daylight. Outside. Fresh air and not stuck in an elevator.  I breathed another sigh of relief before I realized that I was also outside the locked garage, the elevator closed and I had to call the chairman to help me get back in to where my car was (oh, Lord!  What she must be thinking of me right now). Luckily, someone was leaving and let me in and the chairman didn't have to come rescue me. Whew, again!

Now it was finally over and I went home to relax and watch a movie. No more real life drama for me today.  Ironically, yesterday I had rented the movie, 'Mission Impossible' to watch this evening.  It's much less stressful to watch someone else do an impossible mission and make it possible. 

My mission impossible turned into an episode of  'Get Smart' without the fancy moves and the shoe phone.  I missed not getting my painting into a show 'by that much'.

 

It figures. Now I have the theme song to Get Smart stuck in my head.

Read more funny stories:
There Is Something Wrong With Your Hearing
Don't Ever Do This!
A Lesson In Fashion Turns Into A Funny Tattoo Story
Curiosity And Other Artistic Traits
Demo Is A Four Letter Word
What If I Do This?

 

 

(written in April 2012.  No award and no sale on the painting.  It is now in my private collection.)

A Lesson In Fashion Turns Into A Funny Tattoo Story

Taking my son to get a new piece of clothing at any store is a chore. He had gone with his father and came back with a pair of shorts that I think my reaction was something like, "Uh, no! No, no, no those look HORRIBLE! They are WAY too big." Okay, my reaction was a bit worse than that. I think I used a few words like 'you look like a Cholo'; which he didn't. I was over reacting. His response was not appropriate either, but mostly, my son was crest fallen that I didn't approve which made me feel bad and I apologized.

I ended up taking him to another store a bit later to try again. I decided that this was a great opportunity to teach my son how to choose clothes that fit properly and still get the look he wanted.

How does this relate to the title? I'm about to tell you.

After trying on a few pair of pants, a few shirts, and a few pair of shorts, all the while trying to be patient with my son's martyrdom, an employee offered to help. To relieve some stress, I told her a little about my struggles (out of earshot of my son, of course), using humor to make it even more stress relieving. She definitely related to me. Nodding her head and smiling and then started to tell me a few of her own stories about how her grown children dress and what she wouldn't let them do when they lived at home. It went from talking about her son's baggy pants to his tattoos. She then revealed that he had gotten a mural tattooed on his body.

As an artist, who thinks in pictures and not someone who is familiar with the tattoo world, when someone says mural, I think of something that must cover his whole back. She went on to say that it was tattooed on his butt. I think, oh, so it isn't on his whole back, okay, but on his butt cheeks. What on earth did he have tattooed there that looks like a mural?  Then she said that it was on his right side of his back and down over his right butt cheek. My vision of what it would look like got much smaller and less impressive in my mind, but much more reasonable, I guess.

By this time, my son was finished trying on clothes and wandering around the nearby clothing racks. I revealed to the employee that I was an artist and was having a hard time picturing what he would have gotten tattooed there, "What is the tattoo of?"

Her answer threw me into guffaws of laughter, "It's of Bob Ross."

"What?" I'll have to say that image was the furthest from my mind. Instantly, a picture came to my mind of him and his afro and his overly calm voice saying; which I said out loud, "We'll just paint a happy tree over here...on your butt."

But that's not all there is to the story. Apparently, this tattoo is very, very good and the artist did a beautiful job. He painted Bob, and his afro, looking at you with one of his finished paintings on an easel behind him, "He wanted something nobody else would have."

It was impossible not to laugh, "Well, he accomplished that one. That's probably not going to go over very well with any lady in his life."

She responded with, "Oh, but that's just it. He has gotten rave reviews. All his friends love it. He even made money by charging people to view it. It really is amazing."

I'd show you a picture of it, but I'd have to pay money to see it.  So here's the next best thing.





Read more funny stories:
Mission Impossible-Almost
What If I Do This?